07 октября 2026
Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You
0
0
Jay sits down with dating and relationship coach Sabrina Zohar to unpack why we chase the familiar over the safe, how childhood attachment shapes adult dating patterns, and the real difference between boundaries and walls. Together they dig into anxious-avoidant dynamics, chemistry versus compatibility, why we fall for people's potential instead of their reality, and practical tools for healing and showing up differently in love.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Instagram Teen Accounts: Built-in protections for teens.
JAY'S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast
What We Discuss:
00:00 Introduction
00:45 Sabrina's Turning Point: "Why Am I Like This?"
03:13 Familiarity Vs. Safety
05:19 How Childhood Attachment Shapes Us
08:45 Nervous System Triggers & Protest Behavior
11:01 Building Confidence & Setting Incremental Boundaries
13:47 Boundaries Vs. Walls
15:42 Guilt, Control, And People-Pleasing
19:14 Is There Such A Thing As "The One?"
21:14 Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics
25:50 Short-Term Discomfort Vs. Long-Term Unhappiness
29:47 The Fallacy of "Right Person, Wrong Time"
34:16 The Anxious-Avoidant Dynamic
39:02 Attachment Style Myths
41:56 Seeking Connection Vs. Testing For Validation
45:53 Peaceful Love Vs. "Trauma Tingles"
48:36 Green Flags & Early Dating Distractions
52:49 Stop Taking Things Personally
57:14 Pacing Emotional Intimacy
58:58 Why We Pursue Unavailable People
01:01:44 Overcoming Situationships
01:05:00 The Lonely Side of Healing
01:08:01 Finding Closure Within Yourself
01:10:45 Weaponizing "Therapy Speak" To Avoid Accountability
01:12:47 Overcoming Singlehood Scarcity
01:16:51 Falling For Potential Vs. Accepting Reality
01:18:41 Sabrina On Final Five
Episode Resources:
Read Sabrina’s book | https://sabrinazohar.com/book
Website | https://sabrinazohar.com
YouTube | https://youtube.com/@sabrina_zohar?si=92IqIf9b6jaIAoj5
Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar?stkn=MXRwNmN4Z3djMWh5Yg==
TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar?_r=1&_t=ZP-9AJwxjLdOV4
Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063642420347&mibextid=wwXIfr
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Плейлист
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay takes four listener calls exploring the different ways we experience grief, from caring for a child with chronic illness and losing a close friendship to mourning a parent who's still alive and fe...
Ezra Frech shares the mindset, discipline, and determination that have shaped his career and led him to win two Paralympic gold medals. From turning heartbreak in Tokyo into motivation to using visual...
Jay explores how to stop replaying past mistakes, let go of guilt, and move forward when an apology isn't enough. Drawing on research, he shares four ways to work through regret: understanding the dif...
Jay explores why first dates have started to feel more like performance reviews than opportunities for connection. He shares four ways to make dating feel fun and exciting again, from leading with cur...
Collin Gosselin opens up about what it was really like growing up in the spotlight of Jon & Kate Plus 8, sharing his personal account of life behind the camera. He recounts his experiences with family...
Jay explores how draining relationships can quietly take a toll on our bodies, minds, and emotional well-being, leaving us depleted before a conversation even begins and carrying its weight long after...
Jay sits down with dating and relationship coach Sabrina Zohar to unpack why we chase the familiar over the safe, how childhood attachment shapes adult dating patterns, and the real difference between...
Jay sits down with beauty creator Mikayla Nogueira to go beyond the online persona and share the real story behind her rise. Mikayla opens up about the struggles that shaped her before finding success...
Jay shares four mantras for the moments we need them most, whether you’re struggling to find hope, learning to trust yourself, opening yourself up to new opportunities, or simply trying to feel more p...
Jay answers listeners' stories about what happens when health struggles make life feel completely out of your control. Through conversations about postpartum trauma, an unexpected brain tumor diagnosi...
Jay sits down with Sylvester Stallone to trace the extraordinary journey from a painful, unwanted childhood to the creation of Rocky, and the $360,000 offer he turned down rather than compromise his s...
Drawing on seven years of conversations with leading health experts, Jay explores “complexity bias,” our tendency to believe complicated solutions must be more effective than simple ones. He breaks be...
Jay answers three listener calls about rebuilding when life doesn’t go according to plan. He explores how to separate your authentic voice from old survival patterns, pursue a creative passion without...
Jay sits down with actress Lucy Hale, who at 37 says she feels more comfortable with herself than ever before. Lucy opens up about letting go of society’s timelines, navigating media scrutiny and body...
Jay breaks down why our minds are so quick to jump to the worst-case scenario, from the evolutionary roots of anxiety to why uncertainty can send us into a spiral. He shares three practical ways to in...
In a rare and deeply personal conversation, Jay sits down with Oprah Winfrey to reflect on the defining moments, hard-earned lessons, and extraordinary journey that shaped her life. Oprah opens up abo...
Record producer, songwriter, and music executive Benny Blanco joins Jay for an unfiltered, hilarious, and deeply vulnerable conversation about redefining success, overcoming crippling phobias, and why...
Jay explores how living in a world of likes, ratings, and constant feedback can make us lose touch with our own judgment. He shares five shifts for relying less on outside approval and building more t...
Jay unpacks why it can be so hard to let go of the life you thought you’d have by now. He shares five ideas for letting go of where you thought you’d be and making peace with where you are, from break...
Jay welcomes neuroscientist Andrew Huberman back for his third appearance to dive into his new book, Protocols: An Operating Manual for the Human Body. Andrew breaks down what’s really happening in yo...
Jay marks his birthday by reflecting on five lessons an unpredictable year taught him. From making career choices based on the skills you want to build, to trusting yourself through discomfort and pro...
Jay answers four listener calls about what to do when the path forward feels uncertain. From career rejection and financial risks to knowing when openness becomes self-abandonment and how to keep goin...
Jay sits down with Eileen Gu, the most decorated freestyle skier in Olympic history, to go behind the resume and into the mindset that built it all. Eileen opens up about the grandmother and mother wh...
Jay explores why our relationship with money is about so much more than what’s in our bank account. He breaks down five lessons, from how childhood shapes the way we spend and save, to what we’re real...
Jay answers four listener calls about the messy, unresolved side of forgiveness, from custody guilt and bias in parenting, to forgiving yourself after the sudden loss of a parent, uncovering a spouse’...
Jay sits down with Harvard Business School professor Alison Wood Brooks, author of Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves, to explore what makes great conversations actually...
Jay breaks down the difference between healthy self-reflection and the kind of rumination that keeps you stuck in your own head. He shares four practical shifts to help you break the cycle, from redir...
In the very first episode of Ask Jay, a new series where listeners send in voice notes with their biggest questions, Jay explores what it really means to let go when your heart is still holding on. Th...
Musician and artist Paris Jackson joins Jay for an extraordinarily raw, courageous, and deeply honest conversation on addiction, recovery, and the messy, non-linear journey of healing. Paris reflects...
Loneliness doesn’t come from being surrounded by too few people, it comes from believing you have to wait for connection to find you. In this episode, Jay shares five powerful mindset shifts to help y...